Roadside Treasures
“A butterfly flaps its wings…”
Most of us have heard of “The Butterfly Effect”, which states that the effects of a seemingly insignificant event can, if given enough time, eventually result in far-reaching consequences.
The version that I have usually heard is that the change in the wind from a butterfly flapping its wings can ultimately lead to a hurricane halfway around the world.
While mostly agreeing with the premise, it has always bothered me that the generally accepted example used to illustrate “The Butterfly Effect” leads to the negative and destructive effect of a hurricane.
With this as a backdrop, a question entered my mind when I bent down during today’s run to pick up a nail that I saw on the road, prompting me to think about the multitude of items that I have picked up over the years while running thousands of miles on the roads.
Shouldn’t we have a more positive version of “The Butterfly Effect”?
As I tend to do while running, my wandering mind began to develop scenarios where this seemingly innocuous act of picking up a nail may have created a positive ripple effect.
Perhaps picking up the nail prevented a driver from getting a flat tire, causing the hassle of changing the tire (in the rain, no less) and having to pay to get it repaired. Perhaps this flat tire would have made them late for a job interview. Or worse yet, maybe it would have caused a traffic accident.
Who knows?
For me, this whole train of thought will serve as a reminder to pay more attention and not be too hurried to “break stride” to pick up more “nails” that lay in our shared path. Every single action could eventually have a positive impact.
You just never know.
Pick up the nail.
“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”
~ Mother Teresa
“Never trust runners. They’re always the ones who ‘find’ dead bodies. I’m no detective, but just sayin’.”
It has become cliché, due probably to the proliferation of TV crime dramas, that runners are always the ones who find dead bodies.
Well, fortunately for me, since I began my “second life” as a runner back in 2004, I have never experienced such a misfortune. But I can say that I have found an amazing array of items while traveling on foot over thousands of miles of roads and trails.
And for reasons known only to me, years ago I began to pick up these items and run home with them, which over time has led to an ongoing work of “performance art” that I have entitled “The Found While Running Collage” (I know, such a catchy and unique name, huh?)
Every time that I pick up one of these items, I always wonder about its origin. Who did it belong to? Was it accidentally left on the roof of the owner’s car or the back of their truck, only to fall off for me to find?
When it appears that the item was purposely thrown from a vehicle, I always ponder that age-old question that has confounded the great thinkers and philosophers for centuries:
What makes a driver think to themself…
“You know, I’m REALLY tired of this ice cube tray, and I absolutely cannot wait until I get home to throw it away. I’m going for it – NOW is the exact perfect time for me to throw it out my car window!”
These are the profound things that runners think about.
Anyway, without any further ado, here is the most recent inventory of the items that we have found over the past 15 years of running that comprise the “Found While Running/Steve Needs to Get a Life” collage:
3 calculators
A cell phone
2 home phone handsets
A bong (in case you’re wondering, it was about 5 miles from home)
$3.33 in change (6 quarters, 10 dimes, 2 nickels, and 73 pennies – please don’t tell anybody, as I do not want to lose my amateur status!)
4 padlocks
Ice cube tray
A key fob
LOTS of keys
Numerous CD’s
A love letter from Carson to Josh
A Polaroid photo of somebody receiving some sort of certificate
A Dillon’s card
Too many cigarette lighters to count
A 30-day car tag
A penguin (a plastic toy! We haven’t run in Antarctica … yet)
Several children’s toys
19 bungee cords
Several broken sunglasses and eyeglasses
Multiple golf balls
Dice
Koozies from Weis Equipment, KSFFA 125th Conference, Harold’s Tire, Budweiser, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Grills and Grinders “We Want to Rub Your Butts”, Holy Smokin’ Jamboree, and Protec
Several nuts, bolts, screws, washers, and hardware of every imagineable type
Many car magnets
A Dave McCarty baseball card
House numbers – “5”, “7”, “3”, and “4”
A fishing bobber
A biker’s skull cap
More gloves than I can count – never in pairs, dangit!
Several wheel covers (don’t always pick those up, depends on how far I am from home!)
Many single shoes and sandals (never a pair, but I always look for the companion – when the blessed day comes that I hit the Daily Double, I’ll let you know!)
A series of sonogram pictures (including the name, tempting us for years to go knock on their door to find out how things came out, so to speak)
Numerous pieces of rope
Children’s animal book
2 vent pipes
Ford Super Duty ball cap
Tail-light cover (there have been many others, but this one was “only” a mile from home!)
Multiple business cards
Clothes hangers
A #4 Birthday (we assume) balloon
A rubber snake (literally made me jump while running on 46th Street! If someone purposefully put it out there, you got me!)
Lottery tickets (non-winning … I checked!)
Swim goggles
A single puzzle piece (We have been looking all over the place for that! Now we can finally finish that puzzle that has been on our dining room table for 7 years!)
A ½ inch socket
A yellow softball (run over by a mower?)
A shoe sole
A men’s belt (just in time for back-to-school!)
Field and Stream zippered case (for glasses, maybe?)
Keychain for a 2011 Dodge Dakota (no keys, dangit)
Headlight lens cover
Fully inflated beach ball (decided to deflate it for the remaining 4 miles)
Numerous cell phone covers
BBQ grill plate
Bundle of pens
Plastic green toy soldier
A “Weather Tips” card
A Josten’s bookmark
Red panties (no comment)
Drill adaptor
Shotgun shells
Full set of lugnuts
Sam’s Club card (with owner’s photo on back)
PetSmart PetPerks card
Genie garage door opener
Keychain for City Ford of Tonganoxie
Unsmoked cigarettes (a rare find … usually just butts)
Tire gauge
Lots of golf tees
Keychain for State Farm – Dennis Richter
Poker chip
Necklace (probably faux gold)
Size 10 metric wrench
Cotter pin (welcome back … had to do it!)
Luggage tag with name
McDonald’s Gift (Arch) Card
Fidget spinner
Waste Management “We Support Our Troops” pin
Drill bit
Faucet handle
Men’s watch
Ear plugs
Headphones for an iPhone
Car phone charger
USB cord
Size 11/16 inch wrench
Mattress spring
Car mat
Shaving kit
MasterCard (cut up, but owner’s name and card number intact!)
A sewing machine that apparently was an anvil in a previous life (know anything about this, Paula Thiessen?)
Instructions for “How to go to confession”
Pocket planner with calculator
Gas cap
DVD case for “Garden Ho’s” (no DVD inside, but it’s what you think … an “instructional” video)
Power steering hose
Engine coolant hose (sense a theme here?)
Multiple screwdrivers
Medal for Santa Fe Trail track meet
Pill Bottle
Tickets to “Capital City Carnage” at the Kansas Expocentre
Golf towel for IBEW International Convention
Certificate of Acknowledgement for Boy’s Town (with recipient’s name)
Ratchet strap
Driveway reflector
Many playing cards (still don’t have a full deck, but many of you knew this already!)
Paw Patrol sandal
Several knives
Multiple spoons (never have found a fork. What’s up with that?)
Sparkplug
Full roll of electrical tape
Hippo Hunt lottery ticket
Car side mirror
Creepy snowman stuffed “animal”
Employee badge for “Amanda”
Chewed up baseball
Ladies visor
Salad tongs
Several old “pine tree” car air fresheners
Thumb drive (scared to put it into my computer – maybe it has info on who shot JFK?)
Contico “badge”
Industrial hook
Size 5/8 inch wrench
Address book
A “Poopy Puppy” firework (it was unlit … or un-“something”)
Toilet water line
Capitol City Pawn and Jewelry Customer Loyalty card (has name on it, so if you can prove it’s yours, I’ll return it!)
Denison State Bank card
A KU Football ticket
A half-full bottle of vodka … and a mile later a pair of panties (what a party that must have been!)
WHEW! I’m tired just looking at that list, and can’t wait to see what other treasures we will find to add to this “museum collection” in the future.
